The following is a list of disjointed thoughts (loosies, as I like to call them) I wrote down in my phone notes over the last 7 months, cut down to 222 words. Sometimes I write these thoughts down as starting blocks for essays. Other times it’s just to unload my head or not forget a line I heard or read. Either way, I was just having fun arranging this. I’m hoping I can make one of these every few months.
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Loosies
timing not being right is not about time but choices
if i thought about you loud enuf, could you hear me?
i feel like i’ve been screaming
i don’t think i’m going to last here
burned tree areas have weird energy
thirty was a portal
now i’m on the other side but still haven’t gotten my compass to point north
ugly crying b’cos i was worried that the joy and belonging i felt with my friends in my twenties is never going to happen again
want my summers to look how they did when i was a kid
testing out songs to see if they still hit that longing feeling
part of the flow state is infinite time like sheila heti said*
i’m
out of spoons
scarcity mindset with parking
traffic is an assault on my free time
without biking to work i don’t have an outlet for my rage
i just want some fucking peace and quiet
eating salad and listening to nirvana
wherever there is a menty b, there is a breakthru on the other side
a person who is a burning question mark
a place whose hours are “from dawn til dusk”
a pivot is a process
people who bend / warp time
everything can happen then it feels like nothing happened
there’s always a danger in leaving the past*
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*reference to Sheila Heti’s book Motherhood
*line from the song “Fog City” by Tim Presley (White Fence)
July 2024